Well, I'm leaving on a plane to Chicago tomorrow, so I'll be MIA for a few days. Just FYI in case... um... in case. >_>

And I really should be packing, since I'm leaving in less than nine hours.

EDIT: I just realized that what I called "tomorrow" is actually technically today. O_O

Well, I just finished another incredibly depressing anime. X/1999, or just X, whichever you want to call it.

I have no idea how I feel about the ending.

( I have purposely avoided spoilers, but I don't know how well I did. I don't mention anyone by name, though, and I only vaguely hint at things that happen, so you're probably safe. Still, I'm putting this cut here so you can decided for yourself. )

So anyway, on a different and significantly less depressing subject, WHY IS THERE NO FUUMA/KAMUI FIC IN THIS FANDOM? THEY ARE THE MAIN CHARACTERS. WHY DO THEY HAVE NO FIC. DOES NOT COMPUTE.

I mean, there is some fic, but not nearly the amount I'd expect from such an obvious pairing. I think it's because the whole fandom is very hung up on Seishirou/Subaru. And while I like and enjoy reading fic of that pairing too, can we please be having a bit more Fuuma/Kamui? Pretty please? With apocalyptic angst on top?

Blah. I've actually been debating writing a bit of fic myself, but His Majesty Mr. Bitchypants (AKA Kamui) won't cooperate. I just can't seem to get him down on the page in any way that makes sense. With luck I could maybe write some drabbles, but an actual oneshot, with like, some kind of plot? Pah. Be serious.

I do quite like his character, though, even if he is a bitch to write. I mean, yeah, he spent the first ten or so episodes having no personality other than I AM BITCHY AND PEOPLE SUCK, but that was all kind of explained in the end so that's okay. And I like the whole struggle-against-destiny concept, too. I personally loathe the idea of destiny. I do not like being told what to do. I do not like feeling powerless to change anything. And I especially do not like the defeatist mentally that comes with the idea of destiny. That "there was nothing I could do, it was destiny, it was pre-ordained, why try because you cannot change the future" bullshit. I don't like it. I won't believe in it. Lucky for me, Kamui is kind of the same way, which makes the whole doom-and-gloom-end-of-the-world thing much more tolerable.

So, um. In conclusion. Watch X only if you don't mind being a bit depressed when it's all over. And if you have my kind of personality, the kind that causes you to become overly invested in fictional beings to the point of insanity, almost... well, just be prepared.

Look, I has eggs. :D Click them please? So they hatch?

( Under here... )

Alright, I think these damned sinus infections are going to have to be declared chronic, now. That makes five this year, and it's only July!

Meanwhile, the Code Geass dub continues to walk the fine line between absolutely horrid and so-so, as does the second season. I think my problem is that I don't really have any characters I particularly like. Suzaku and Lelouch are both trying to change the country in Their Own Way, blah de blah, but I think both of them are going about it the wrong way, so I have no one to rally around, so to speak. Blah.

Also, just realized it was Monday. This doesn't seem to bode well.

H'okay. So.

I've seriously neglected this journal for, um... ever, and I'm going to try to remedy that, I suppose, by posting a bit more often and commenting on other journals even when I can't post on this one.

So here's how it stands on what you can expect from this journal from now on:

- My babblings about real life. This is a given. These will sometimes be locked.
- My babblings about anime/manga I am following. I am so very behind on both, but I will be trying to catch up. You are welcome to point and laugh if you're inclined to such things. These are unlikely to be locked.
- My babblings about books. I'm not by any means looking to turn this in to a book rec journal, but since my condensed six-week American literature class just ended (THANK GOD; my classmates were IDIOTS and I like reading I really do but not THAT MUCH in that small a space of time) I am looking forward to reading for personal pleasure again and I'd like to get my thoughts about such things out. These are also unlikely to be locked.
- My babblings about writing. And herein lies the problem, and also why I've avoided posting here for so very long. I have, for the moment, stopped writing Hand in Hand, as well as fanfiction in general. I love fanfiction (and Hand in Hand), truly I do, but at the moment I am very invested in this new project of mine (it's NEW and SHINY), which I am hoping will end up being a novel, though who can tell, and so I am putting fanfiction on hold out of necessity. I am sure I will still be reading a lot, though. But for now, Hand in Hand is unlikely to be worked on except as a kind of stress-relieving side project for when my main project won't work with me. And hell, maybe I'll squeeze out a oneshot every once in a while. Anything I write will likely be unlocked, though babbles about my current project may or may not be locked.

So um... I hope anyone who actually reads this journal doesn't disown me for any of this? :D And now it is quite late and I really want to read before I am lost to the world, so... later.

Well. I've managed to miss every single one of my classes this week.

Why?

Because I have ANOTHER. THRICE DAMNED. SINUS INFECTION. URRRGGGHHH. What is the matter with me? This makes what, three times I've been sick in the past four months? Apparently 2008 is the year of the never-ending germ fest or something. I tend to get sick at least once a year, yeah, but this is ridiculous.

So anyway, yeah. I've been reading fanfiction like a wild thing because I'm bored out of my mind and I have nothing else to do. Hopefully this stupid thing will go away soon...

I had a bad day.

I got up late, did nothing, went to Japanese, still managed to do nothing, had a fight with my mom about something stupid... it doesn't even matter.

The point is, I had a bad day. And that's okay. Because we all have bad days. We all have days when we feel like there's no one in the world who understands, no one cares about us, our life is going nowhere, we are living a pointless existence with no meaning, so on and so forth.

And that's OKAY. It's okay to feel like that. It's normal. We all have bad days, bad weeks, bad months, bad years even. So what?

So what?

It's a bad day.

Maybe tomorrow... maybe tomorrow will be a good day.

I think maybe I like this song.

This is, apparently, my interests in collage form.

( Yeah... )

OH MY GOD I need to stop reading fanfic.

I get all excited and wiggly and then I start waving my arms about. Waving them. Happily. And I don't see why people think that's odd. Really. My nephew does it all the time. Granted, my nephew is also two years old...

And WTF. This fic. Entitled "Family Affair". Makes me want to have children. WTF WTF WTF. I have always said I don't want children. I'm not nearly old enough right now to have them anyway, but when I do get older, I never really wanted to have children. But for SOME REASON, this fic has filled me with so much happy fluffy nonsense that I almost ran downstairs and announced to my mom that I've changed my mind and I totally want to have children some day.

...Almost.

But oh my god, I still love that fic. Granted, it is Roy/Ed (from FMA), which I think is okay but I'm usually not that big a fan of it, and it IS mpreg, which I usually find very... odd, but please, please, please don't let that put you off reading it. It's wonderful, and it's set after the baby is born so you don't have to deal with the preggers bits if you don't want to, and that's actually a legitimate reason WHY the whole baby thing happened, and it's just so gorgeous and wonderful and I think it's made me into a Roy/Ed shipper but only the way this person writes it and... wow.

So yeah.

There's the end of my rant for the day.

Oh my gosh. Code Geass dub.

YEEEEESSSSS. *_*

Lelouch's voice. I like it. I LIKE it. And Suzaku's sounds good too. You know, somehow, while watching the series, I thought it would sound better dubbed. I really hope it does. From what I've seen so far, it definitely has potential.

I've realized something.

I get very, very dangerously restless when I have nothing to do. As in, I take stupid risks in the hope that I'll get into trouble and then things will HAPPEN. I go for walks at one o'clock in the morning. I seriously consider trying to climb down onto the porch from the roof (I'd probably do it, too, if I was in better shape). I email old not-quite-friends-anymore and say I'm sorry (god knows why) in the hope that maybe they'll reject my apology and then I can argue with them. Or maybe in the hope that they'll accept it and then I can start talking to them again, because we're so different and we used to have huge arguments and somehow I don't think I minded that quite as much as I thought. Or sometimes I start wondering how hard it is to sneak into various places, but not because I actually want to get into these places. Because I'm bored as hell and I think it would be fun.

I hate spring break.

If you have seen the anime Fullmetal Alchemist all the way through, you absolutely must read this fic, because it is just that wonderful. That's a link to the last part, by the way, because it has links to all the previous parts.

Believe me, this fic is amazing. I was wiggling in my seat while I read it. Me. Wiggling. And while I may often express my joy while reading a good fic, it is usually in the form of a simple smile, and occasionally quiet laughter. But while reading this, I was so happy, I couldn't help but wiggle around in my seat and giggle at certain moments. It was incredibly bittersweet, sad and yet so hopeful, angsty and yet so sweet. And the characters are very well characterized, with every bit of dialogue and every action right on in keeping with their personality.

So yes. Read it. It's essentially gen, which is what I prefer from FMA fics. I don't really ship anything in that series, since the relationship I like most in that show is that of the brothers, and most pairing fics detract from that, unless it's elricest, which I don't mind but never seems to ring true for me. Anyway, there's a pinch of Roy/Ed in the story, but it's barely there, so you can easily read the fic even you don't like that pairing.

Short weekend was short.

Ugh... Mondays. Why do we even have Mondays? Why can't we just go straight to Tuesday? Tuesday, I can deal with.

Alright, enough silliness. Basically, I had an annoyingly short and unproductive weekend, I'm stressing over getting in enough stuff to get into a good university, and on top of it all I have a sore throat and a stuffy nose, which for me usually precedes a really, really bad cold.

And my friend, who we're going to call J throughout the remainder this entry, invited me over to play this new PS3 game he borrowed from a friend tomorrow. AND OMG I WANT TO PLAY IT SO BADLY AND I'VE NEVER PLAYED A PS3 GAME BEFORE AND I'M EXCITED. But. My mom has informed me that if I am not totally better tomorrow (and that means both sore throat and stuffy nose must be gone), I'm going to have to stay home. And I know she's right on that, but damn it, I want to go! Why do I have to get sick all the time? Plus, I've been doing so well lately! I've become fairly productive and my life seems to be on the right track; I'm keeping my room clean and laundry up to date, I'm studying regularly, I've finally finished plotting my book and have started writing it, and... now it seems I could be getting sick. Which would kind of mess all that up.

So yeah. I guess what I'm going to do now is go get a shower and go to bed so I can get up for English tomorrow. I'm hoping that if I take care of myself tonight and get a good night's sleep, maybe I'll feel better in the morning. And yes, whatever God there may be, that was a very ill-disguised prayer for you to make me better. Though I get the impression that you kind of don't like me, maybe you could make this one little exception. ...Please?

Well, I guess I should be going. Wish me luck?

Well, thanks to capslock_dn, I am now convinced that Hayate (from Naruto) and L (from Death Note) are the same person.

...SHUT UP YES THEY ARE.

I just finished the Bartimaeus Trilogy. For the third time.

They are such wonderful books.

I'd almost like to go into detail about what is so wonderful about them - the characters, their relationships, the plot... But because those of you who are thinking of reading the books' experiences with them will be, for all intents and purpose, one and the same, I rather think you'll know once you read them anyway.

(In reaction to this lovely news.)

Dear George Lucas,

It's over. You've been a huge success. You've made millions.

NOW GODDAMNIT, LET STAR WARS DIE.

Just finished getting my first essay of the year down on paper. *headdesk* Soooo tiiired...

And the best part is, I have twenty-eight pages of tiny print to read in my US History textbook before I get go to bed. Argh.

Hello again, college. Hello again, responsibility. Hello again, utter lack of anything resembling a life.

I have been so angry lately. And I don't even know why.

I love my family. I think I have a better and more stable family than anyone else I know. Sure, we have our slight areas of dysfunctionality, but I love them and they love me and we make it work and that's all that matters.

( But lately... )

I just spent about an hour looking at old photos of my mom and dad when they were teenagers. They look so happy. They got together in their senior year of high school, broke up and later got back together... they went to college for two years each, and then dropped out to fight the draft... They've had such amazing lives.

And I can't help but look at these pictures and think, if you'd told them then that someday they'd have three kids, a grandkid, and a dog in a midsize house on the east coast, what would they have said?

OMGOMGOMG TODAY I WENT TO THE LIBRARY AND GOT BOOKS.

LIKE. BOOKS.

I am SO happy. ;___; I haven't read anything non-school-related in too long. Sure, most of the stuff I got is YA fiction, but that's because I get my fill of "literature" in the stuff I read for English and most "adult" books are trashy. Besides, young adult fiction is just as well written as adult fiction (if not more so). The only difference is that teenagers tend to be the main characters (emphasis on "tend to")

Wait. Why am I justifying myself? I'm currently WRITING a work of YA fiction (I don't really think of it that way, but hey, the main character is thirteen and it's a fantasy. It just kinds of ends up getting lumped in with all the rest of the young adult books, and I don't mind that, really). ANYWAY. I don't need to justify my reading choices, so nyeh.

I'm in a weird mood.

Anyway. For anyone looking for first-rate fantasy to read, YOU MUST READ THE BARTIMAEUS TRILOGY. I'm re-reading it for the third time to get myself back into the habit of reading, and the books are soooo good. Seriously. Don't be daunted by length. I'm the kind of person who doesn't care how long a book is as long as it's good, but if you are, rest assured that you will not get bored. The books are hilarious, witty, thoughtful, and well-written, with characters that will grab you and NEVER let go and a plot that is engaging and multi-layered.

In other words, they're amazing. Everyone should read them. (The first book is The Amulet of Samarkand if you're interested).

In fact, I think I'm going to go do some reading now.